Federal Communications Commission Chair Tom Wheeler announced early Friday morning that he would work to repeal the agency’s hoax rule.
Wheeler hinted that he thought the rule was outdated and irrelevant. He made the announcement from Dan’s Cafe, in the Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, DC, while drinking a squeeze bottle full of Odessa Vodka.
“Fuck it,” Wheeler said. “You’ve seen what people can get away with saying on TV. There’s Trump for one. And Ted Cruz basically says the same shit, wrapped up for Soccer Mom consumption.”
“Nothing matters,” he added. “And that is why I’m gonna throw this dumb rule in the garbage.”
The key regulator then turned his focus to the integrity of the cable news industry.
“Bloomberg guys on MSNBC, for example. What the hell is that? They’re better than Melissa Harris-Perry?” he asked. “The ghost of Phil Donahue just fucking haunts that place. If I were Chris Hayes, I’d be scared to death of peeing on the toilet seat.”
“And don’t get me started on Chris Matthews,” he added. “Jesus.” Wheeler would not comment on “Meet The Press” host Chuck Todd, but he did take out his phone and pointed repeatedly to a photograph of an ocean sponge, when asked.
“I’ll end up in fucking jail tonight if you get me started,” he said.
The hoax rule was enacted in 1992, after a series of false TV news reports on murders.
“For example, KROQ(FM), Pasadena, California, aired a false murder confession and WALE(AM), Providence, Rhode Island, aired a false report that one of its employees had been shot while on duty,” the FCC said when issuing the rule. “Both situations caused significant distress to members of the listening audience and diverted police resources from legitimate crises.”
Those who violate the rule are subject to fines. It, mercifully, does not apply to the print media.
